A Remembrance of Paul Anthony Cooley (1949-2022)

 Early Memories of Paul 

I grew up in the 1950's together with Paul in one big extended family. Eric and Paul, the children of my Dad's brother Chas and his wife Florence lived next door to us. David, my younger brother, myself and my Dad - Percy and Mum - Gwen lived at 112 Grosvenor Crescent, while Eric and Paul lived at 1 Denecroft. These are a few glimpses and memories of Paul in those idyllic days growing up in England in the 1950's.

There is a back story that provides context for these memories. It was 1946. The Second World War had barely ended a year before. Charles (Chas) Richmond Cooley is looking for a home for his young wife - Florence - who is pregnant with their first child. They both grew up in London, south of the river, in the district around the Elephant and Castle by the Old Kent Road. In 1946 they lived in a crowded flat on Holmdale Road, Swiss Cottage.

Chas came across a little plot of land in the Uxbridge Urban District, on the western fringe of London. It was part of the Oak Farm estate that had largely been developed in the 1930's. But there was a corner plot where Grosvenor Crescent and Denecroft Crescent meet.

Chas tells his brother Percy Victor Cooley about the pair of houses being built on the plot which required a deposit of 300 pounds. At a total purchase price of 1300 pounds for each house. Percy and Gwen purchase the next-door house to Chas and Florence. In 1947 soon after they move in Chas and Florence have a boy - Eric Paul Cooley. The first of the four boys to be born on that corner plot. Chas and Florence have another boy - Paul Anthony Cooley - in 1949. The following year - 1950 - Gwen and Percy have a boy - Keith David Cooley - that's me. Three years later they have another boy - David Raymond Cooley - to complete the quartet of Cooley boys. It was a period of post-war austerity with rationing of food, petrol and other essential items. A grey regimented "state" culture from the Government controlled radio and television - one TV channel. This was the environment we grew up in. Not that we noticed the austerity at the time.

In the back garden of 1 Denecroft Cresent - 1954 ish

Paul was a big fellow for his age with a shock of black hair and rambunctious nature. He was a year older than me.  From an early age, we did things together. We played together. We eat together. The photographs here illustrate this. A picnic with three of the Cooley boys wearing similar checked shirts. Having tea in the back garden of 1 Denecroft before the garage was built and before the plum tree grew up.

In the front garden of 1 Denecroft - playing trains - Paul is thoroughly enjoying himself - me not so much note my left leg in a cast - 1956 ish. David was too young to be playing with the big boys.

Christmas was such a rich part of growing up in Hillingdon. We spent every Christmas together as well as much of the school holiday which extended well into January. The tradition was that on Christmas Day - Gwen and Percy's family would go next door for a comprehensive Christmas dinner with pudding with games afterward in the evening.

Christmas day dinner at 1 Denecroft. From left - Eric, Paul, Percy, Doris, Auntie Flo and Grandma. Chas at head of the table with Florence standing next to him. Probably 1959

On Boxing Day everyone came round our house for a party. My mother was keen on games and liked to gather as many relatives as she could get to come over from the east to the west side of London. We played "pass the parcel", charades and murder.

Paul in the foreground in blue on Boxing Day at 112 Grosvenor possibly playing charades.

On other days of the holiday, we played board games, especially monopoly. 

Cooley boys playing Monopoly Xmas 1959. Paul collecting rent from Dave

We played together on the streets, usually on the closest stretch of Denecroft Crescent because the traffic was lighter. Games of hopscotch marked out in chalk along the street. We explored the back alleys together. We built trolleys - four wheels from a pram fitted to a plank of wood with rope attached to the front wheels to steer.  Paul let me ride on his trolley while he pushed me from behind. He was that kind of person.

Paul pushing me on his trolley

Every game turned into a battle of domination on Paul's part. That's how it felt to me at the time. I was inextricably and reluctantly drawn into the conflict. Paul was a year older than me, and being so close in age there was inevitable sibling rivalry and friction, although we were not technically siblings. I was the oldest in my family and he was the youngest in his family. I am sure Paul found me argumentative and annoying while I found Paul bossy and insufferable. One brutal conflict was when I was 8 or 9 years old at our sand pit. Paul could be quite obstreperous. He hit me with a sand shovel right on the bridge of my nose. The shovel blade went to the bone. I have a scar there to this day. Paul was physically bigger than me and I was scared of him. I opposed him in a passive-aggressive way. I preferred not to deal with him. Unfortunately, that resentment on my part coloured our teenage relationship.

The big freeze of 1963 exemplified Paul's sense of fun and playfulness. It was the coldest winter since 1739. It started snowing in the first week of January. Over a foot of snow soon lay on the streets around the Oak Farm estate. We were off school because it was the tail end of the Christmas holidays. 

The Cooley boys played together in the garden and on the streets which were not plowed for many days. We were all off school because it was the tail end of the Christmas holiday. Hours were spent rolling up the snow to create huge balls of snow, which we coalesced to make snowmen. It was so cold that we all wore long trousers except for Paul who insisted on wearing shorts throughout the big freeze.

Paul followed Eric to primary school at Oak Farm a street away on Windsor Avenue, next to the crater from a bomb dropped by a Nazi bomber in the last years of the Second World War. Then onto Abbotsfield Secondary Modern school on the hill overlooking the Oak Farm estate.  Dave and me followed Paul to Abbotsfield. Paul did the building course and specialized in carpentry. Each of the Cooley boys had our own set of friends and there was little overlap. Occasionally we would get together and have a pint or two.  Paul enjoyed life. At eighteen he got a car - a Ford Prefect and soon after rolled it up by the Uxbridge Road. I envied his thick "barnet" with no receding hairline as can be seen in the photo below taken at the time of Eric's wedding to Julie. There was no history of male pattern baldness in Paul's family.

Eric's wedding: from right: Keith, David, Paul, Percy, Eric, Chas and Steve. c1979

Paul got married to the lovely Chris. Soon after I emigrated to the United States, first to New Jersey and then in late 1987 to California. Eric had moved to the Isle of Wight. Paul settled with his new wife in the Thames Valley on the outer rural fringes west of London. We had lost touch. 

In 1992 I got married. The UK part of the wedding celebration was held in Henley-on-Thames. Paul stepped forward and volunteered to take photographs of the ceremonial blessing of the marriage and later in the day the reception at Danesfield House. We had both mellowed in personality and temperament. I found Paul kind and generous. We had shared those early years together, and the tantrums and conflict were put behind us. In October 1995 Paul, Chris, and Liz came and stayed with Margaret and me at our house on Harker Avenue in Palo Alto. We went with them to the local sights - to the nearby Stanford University, to Skyline Drive.

Chris, Paul and Keith at Stanford University c. 1995

Paul and Liz at Stanford, Palo Alto, 1995

In 2007 Margaret and I came over to the UK and Ireland in January. We had a lovely day out with Paul to a special place - Scutchamer Knob, near Wantage on the Ridgeway.

Consulting an Ordinance Survey map at lunch before heading up to Scutchamer Knob.

On the Ridgway with Paul's dog a few hundred yards from Scutchamer Knob.